NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
