try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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