i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
