he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
