He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
