Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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