I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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