'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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