weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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