I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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