I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
