dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
honey bunches of taint.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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