listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
