He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize