belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm both gender and math confused
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
