We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
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