i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize