my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
