I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
where does the pee come out of this thing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
