Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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