So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize