I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
