Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
