He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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