I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
