Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
