mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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