She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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