remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
