Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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