forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
