I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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