i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
