Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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