I'm jealous of your bromance
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize