So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
