Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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