I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
