Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
