okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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