So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
