He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
