I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
