Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
