he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
