I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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