i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
