Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
