So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Even my vagina gasped.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
