So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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