whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
