you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
