Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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