yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize