btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
