I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
What a dumb baby whore.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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