I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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