i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
