why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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