On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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