and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
