Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
