This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
