I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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