She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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