I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
